The desk
by BaronessBlixen
Summary: Kirsten takes Ryan out shopping... more inside! Please rr! OneShot


TITLE: The desk

AUTHOR: Anika Not my characters. I'd like to own Ryan though. At least a little Ryan doll... do they exist already!

FEEDBACK: Yup.

CATEGORY: Slightly AU but I see it as a 'Never-mentioned-Fill-in-with-slight-adaptations'. Want to know what that is? Read the story!

SPOILERS/TIMELINE: Fill-in (see above) for episode 02x08 The Power of Love.

SUMMARY: Kirsten takes Ryan out shopping...

AUTHORS NOTE: This story comes with an explanation. In the Blaze of Glory I noticed Ryan having a desk. So I wondered, when did it first show up? I am not quite sure yet but as far as I know I've seen the desk for the first time in episode 9 of season 2. I could be wrong. In episode 7 there was something behind Lindsay that could have been the desk. I do watch too much The O.C. ... Anyway, I don't care when the desk showed up now. This really goes with my idea. Maybe one of you knows for sure when it showed up... or you are normal and do not care for such stuff. Either way, please read the story and review!

Entering the house, Kirsten was greeted by utter silence. At first she thought this was a good sign, showing the boys had listened and had actually accepted their punishment which included coming home right after school and no video games. But if Kirsten had learnt one thing the last few days it was that trust might be great, but control is better.

Climbing the stairs, yesterday's events sneaked themselves into Kirsten's mind. Her anger about Seth's sneaking out had subsided pretty soon even though she hadn't shown it. But after all, she'd been young once, too and she and Jimmy Cooper had met hundreds of times in the middle of the night- without any permission. It almost made her feel good to know her son was like any other teenager after all. Still, she hoped for his sake that he had just this once listened to his parents. Opening his door without any knocking, she found everything but her son. Like usually, she spotted various piles on the floor. One was comics, another one with dirty clothes and to her greatest horror one with clean garments. Kirsten left the room with a sigh. For her son she hoped he was with Ryan in the pool house.

All day Kirsten had tried to prevent any thoughts about what she'd seen last night in the pool house- in vain. She couldn't shake of the image of Ryan and Lindsay making out. It made her shudder. Although knowing the two weren't in any way biologically related, it was an extremely weird feeling. This was her son and her sister- dating. It didn't seem right, relation or no relation. What was even worse was that they hadn't said anything. Especially Ryan. Kirsten could understand that Lindsay hadn't come running to her but Ryan... Even with her understanding that lately everything had been out of place, and kind of complicated, he could have said something. Just like Seth's room, Kirsten entered the pool house without knocking. Fortunately, Ryan sat on his bed with a book, looking terrified.

"Have you seen Seth?" Kirsten asked ignoring his uneasiness.

"No... I suppose he's in his room?" It was more a question than a statement showing Kirsten that Ryan knew very well where Seth was.

"Ryan..." for some reason she could intimidate him easily. It reminded her of her father and herself when she was young. She shook that thought off.

"Maybe..." he was searching for a lie but seeing Kirsten's angry expression told him not to take any chances and rather tell the truth. Even if it meant betraying Seth.

"Maybe he told me to say he was held up at school when he really went to see Alex." Ryan spilled. Silence followed.

Before Ryan had come to live with them, the pool house had hardly been used. Only Hailey had lived in there the few times she had come to stay. Otherwise they had simply put everything in that didn't fit in anywhere else. It was somehow weird having him live in a pool house when they still had room in the house.

"You need a desk." Kirsten eventually said. She hadn't even realized it until then. There had been a few occasions when she'd told Ryan they needed to go shopping for several things. Somehow life had always ruined those plans. Also she knew how much he hated it. Not only shopping itself but her and Sandy paying for everything.

Ryan eyed her confused. He had expected a lot but certainly not that. Of course it wasn't his fault that Seth hadn't come after school like he had almost pleaded him to do but still, he was there and could be punished. He knew Kirsten was still very angry at him for hiding his relationship with Lindsay. He understood that. All the time he had felt guilty not saying a word. Ryan could have ended it, could have waited until everything had cooled off and just come out with the truth. He hadn't. Any punishment Kirsten, and Sandy decided on, he was fine with. But he didn't understand what his not having a desk had anything to do with it. He glanced at Kirsten. She was still looking around the pool house. Finally, she turned to him.

"Why have you never said anything?" she wanted to know.

"Uh, I'm fine really. I can use the table in the kitchen, Seth's desk, the bed... really, it's fine." Apparently, Ryan realized, it made her even angrier. Or something. He couldn't tell if she was angry or what she felt at all.

"No, Ryan. You need a desk. We meant to buy one all the time. We'll leave in five minutes." With that, Kirsten left the pool house. Ryan stared after her truly baffled.

As Kirsten collected her key and cell phone, she wondered what had gotten into her. Suddenly nothing seemed more important than buying Ryan a desk. Somehow she felt guilty for not having thought of it earlier. She sat in the car and waited. With confusion and the slightest hint of fear in his eyes, he sat down next to her.

"They have a great store at the mall." Kirsten told him switching on the radio.

Ryan and Kirsten had many things in common. One was that they both weren't the greatest talkers. So the drive to the mall was spent in silence. Ryan was desperately trying to think of something to say but he couldn't. He wondered if Kirsten did this on purpose, to punish him even more.

Kirsten was trying to find something to talk about almost as badly as Ryan. Having lived with Sandy and Seth for so long, she just wasn't used to silence. One of them was always chatting away. But Ryan was like her, she knew. They always stayed a little quiet. Well, most of the times they wouldn't even get the chance to talk with Sandy and Seth. Around. But neither minded. The silence wasn't exactly awakward, Kirsten would have preferred a nice talk anyway. What could she say though? Ask him about his and Lindsay's relationship? She decided the drive to the mall wasn't long and they'd survive the stillness.

20 minutes later they finally arrived. Ryan almost sighed with relief. He figured it couldn't get worse than the drive.

Following Kirsten through the mall, the silence remained. But it was more comfortable now with so many people around. Ryan had never been a big fan of shopping. Probably because when he was little, no one had taken him. His parents never had any money. Even if they had, they hadn't spent it for their children. He knew that Kirsten loved shopping but she hardly looked into the various shops. Finally, they entered the store Kirsten had told Ryan about. Immediately, he saw many differents desks and chairs, figuring it would be a long afternoon.

"What about this one?" Kirsten asked, showing him a rather small desk. They had now seen plenty of tables but Ryan hadn't liked either of them. He started feeling bad and thought about lieing.

"Um, yeah why not?" he said, touching the light wood.

"Ryan, the desk is for you, I want you to have one you like." Kirsten told him, knowing whenever he lied. He wondered how the Cohens did that. He knew he wasn't a good liar, but his mother and Trey had always believed his lies.

Even though there were so many, Kirsten didn't like any of the desks either. She could understand Ryan's dislike for them. It felt good shopping with him. Also, she had hardly thought about him and Lindsay. The desk-search had fully occupied her. But as she watched Ryan checking out one of the desks, the memory came back. Kirsten knew she eventually had to talk about it, find out how serious it was and everything but she wasn't ready yet. Turning away, she finally saw 'it'. She stormed off.

Ryan fingered another light wooden desk. It was a little bigger. Somehow it reminded him of Seth's. He didn't like it much though. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kirsten storm off. Wondering what might have caused this, he looked up. He saw her standing at a desk that was simply amazing.

"What do you think of that?" Kirsten wanted to know as she noticed Ryan approach her. He didn't answer, just stared at it and touched it ever so often. He loved the dark wood.

"You know, this is a real architect desk. Well, architects usually have slightly bigger ones but this one is just..." Kirsten told him, trailing off. She remembered having a similiar one when she was around Ryan's age. Even though Seth had always been drawing, he had never wanted such a desk.

"It's nice." Ryan said. He couldn't take his eyes off of it. Never in his life had he owned a desk. Trey hadn't one either. Both boys, when Trey had actually still done something for school, had used the old kitchen table. Occasionally, Ryan had done his homework in Theresa's room. Usually, he hadn't done his homework at all.

"We'll still need a chair though." Kirsten reminded him. It was no question that they would buy this. Ryan looked at her a little uncomfortable. She was almost sure he would tell her he didn't want it, or that he wanted to pay half of it.

"Uh, could we maybe tell someone that we want this? I don't want it to be gone when we look for chairs." He told her sheepishly and blushed. Kirsten smiled.

"Of course."

The drive home, although spent in silence, was far more comfortable. Ryan was almost desperate to install his new belongings into the pool house. Apart from the chair, they had also bought a lamp and some writing utensils. He didn't say anything but he wondered why he was given so much new things after he had seriously screwed up. He didn't dare to ask though. As if having read his mind, Kirsten began what Ryan thought would be 'the' talk:

"I am still angry at you, well I don't really know what I feel but it's still there." She didn't look at him and paid full attention to the traffic. Ryan was glad they were in the car.

"I am really sorry and-" Kirsten cut him off.

"I know, Ryan. It's just... so complicated right now. I just wanted you to know... we'll talk about this a little later, ok? I still have to grasp the fact that you and Lindsay- I will be fine with it eventually. I just need some time." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ryan nodding and stare out the window.

Having watched Ryan with his new desk, Kirsten realized once again how much this kid meant to her. She had almost lost him once not so long ago and she wouldn't risk anything. The thought of her son and her sister dating still gave her a twinge but for Ryan's sake she'd be ok with it. A while later, when her emotions had cooled off, she would talk with him and Lindsay and it would be fine. Seth's and Ryan's happiness was the most important thing in the world.

Even if it meant they had to move to the South after all.

END!

Alright, finished. I realized some time ago that Ryan also had a Journey poster up on his wall! I wonder who gave him that... anyway, please review!

Written by Anika


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